Welcome. :)

Welcome to my blog. Here I share my successes and failures along my journey to becoming an anthropologist. My most prominent interest anthropologically are the new approaches to handing food security/healthy eating in the US, particularly in urban "food deserts". I enjoy the Anthropology of Tourism as well; combining food and tourism has scholarly promise. My other interests which have converted into anthropological hobbies of sorts include converts to Islam, diaspora of Muslims, and MENA in general. I also have some interest in historical archaeology.

I welcome comments, discussion and even respectful debating. I will however keep discussions to a respectable level. I reserve the right to ban anyone from this forum.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Something a little different for me

I usually do not blog about my worries or problems I am having. I think worries are generally all ego controlled anyhow. Anyway, I have a friend who I went to HS with. back then, I do not remember us being close but we were friendly. I find out she lives in my city now and we started hanging out and she has done some generous things for me since we started spending time together. We have recently come to a serious crossroads in our friendship, albiet very limited friendship. I don't think she knows I have a blog, let alone reads it so I think that I am safe here. lol I just need some objective advice about my problem.

I consider myself a Muslim and she claims to be a "Christian fundamentalist" (sorry, the most dangerous kind if I do say so myself). I am not a seriously practicing Muslim but prefer to spend time with people who do not have serious biases against people of my faith. My friend whom I will call Jane for this purpose (not her real name)is a strong Christian with Rebublican values, if you get my drift.

I made a (not so nice) comment about a republican figure of the recent past (not GWB but might as well have been) on Facebook (don't bother looking it up. The whole debate/post has been deleted.). Basically the debate surrounded the Israeli-Palestinian conflict (nothing on earth seems to stir a debate like this I guess) and she believes the Israelis should be given "their" land while I believe it should be divided among the two. She felt like I was attacking Christianity, which I don't want to do and I don't believe I did. I attacked the values that Republicans tend to have regarding the world political stage.

She now is "hurt" and needs to think of the future of our friendship. I know it is difficult to make a full judgement based upon this post but I want to know if anyone has dealt with this issue in their personal lives and how you handled it.



Chiara said...

I was having an email intellectual friendship with a friend's husband of 1 year, who is an American so far right that he cannot find anyone sympatico in the Republican Party and considers himself a libertarian of a 1 person party (himself). He sent me a right-wing rant article and I commented, including the following (sorry if this offends anyone here, I tend to go with the UNHRC, UN, IRCC, AI, HRW and the NYT on this one--ie on Israel's 2008-9 Gaza offensive, and 2006 Lebanon offensive):

"The suggestion that the US would ever try to stop Israel is hilarious. They never have, at most they have refused to participate, whereupon Israel does what it wants, including sinking an American ship. In recent years the US has perfected the art of saying nothing except that Israel is a sovereign nation with the right to defend itself while Israel creates wars and bombs civilians with naphtalene."

He, who considers himself a not Jewish Jew, was so furious that he tried to break up my 4-year friendship with his wife, tried to stop her from having any further contact with me, including by email, and refused to tell her what "horrible things" I had said or even to give a category. She asked me by email so I emailed her the whole exchange, and another one that was one of our typical ones where we disagreed but had no offense. I pointed out the offending paragraph.

Eventually, after weeks, he settled down about my friendship with his wife, but ended ours.

He had told her he would never email me again, even though he wanted to (since he enjoyed my respectful intelligent debating style). I had sent him a peace offering email with an article he would be interested in--without apologizing to him or letting on I knew he was angry (at her request request). He eventually sent a perfunctory reply.

I told her I valued her friendship and was sorry he had become so upset since it negatively impacted her life. She and I have moved on, and our friendship is healed, and somewhat strengthened.

Bottom line--in my experience the Israeli-Palestine conflict is an area where people are hypersensitive, and have more difficulty agreeing to disagree.

I wouldn't feel badly about what you did, and would allow her to make her decisions about your friendship, as you should make yours. Perhaps there is salvage room, while avoiding certain topics, perhaps not.

Anthrogeek10 said...

I wonder-being on whatever side of the conflict allows the other person to know (somewhat) what VALUES they stand for. Those are not the values I admire (Rebublican right wing bull *&%$). They have very few values I would take on as my own. That said, they want to put their head in the sand regarding what the US is doing to fuel the fire over there. Don't get me started. lol

I may be able to be friends with her superfically. Not on a deep level. Thats what I think after pondering this.


Chiara said...

You are welcome, and she sounds better as an acquaintance than a friend!