This is an age old problem that I suspect many people from all faiths have dealt with. My mom is an Evangelical Christian who truely believes her way is the only way to spiritual enlightenment/heaven, etc. She insists on preaching to me. At times it is a regular "praise the Lord sermon" over and over and over. At times, she sneaks it in when one is least expecting it! I am thinking my mom and I could be getting along famously (strange) and all of a sudden *POW* she hits me with her "come back to Jesus" sermon. When times like that occur, I clam up. I tend to want to be calm, say the right thing, stay true to my beliefs--all that. I do not think that method is working for me. I have explained to mom in letters that I am not a Christian (horror of horrors) and I would like to be repected for that.
My mom always seems to do this at the time that she lends/gives me a gift. She sneaks in her little two cents. So--what is the problem? She lives in Chicago-I live in Orlando....
Well, I do not feel fully accepted by my mom for who I am and my beliefs. It almost feels like her love is conditional.
Anyone else felt like this and how did you handle it? Successfully?
anthrogeek10
3 comments:
Nice new look for 2010. I think we have all been POW'd by our mothers on a variety of topics. However, and Evangelical Christian can be a special breed. A colleague in Hong Kong who was a MSW used to dread going to visit her Evangelical Christian mother, who would not only preach to her, but answer her professional phone number and preach to her patients. She used it in therapy, telling her patients she understood their challenges with their families because she had her own "cross to bear".
Sometimes adult children have to accept the love that their parents can offer, and not expect too much, because they won't always get their parents' acceptance for all aspects of themselves as much as they wish to have it.
I doubt confronting your mother would help in any way, and might just give her fodder for more sermons.
I'm sorry this is part of your family experience especially as I hate proselytizing of any sort.
Thank you so much Chiara. I find it difficult and tense to spend any time with her when we do see one another. I love her however. She is my mom.
I like how you described it as being POWed. :) It is so true.
I was reading an anthropological study regarding converts to Islam and I found that I am not alone....
anthrogeek10
You are welcome, and indeed you are far from alone--especially among converts perhaps, but analogously with others. One of the mentally toughest women I know says her mother can reduce her to tears in a few minutes over the phone.
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